CLOSE TO ME

My friends,
It feels good to have my own blog.....there are things which are close to my heart and things which have affected me one way or the other.....my thoughts,my desires,my aspirations,my fears my gods and my demons---you will find all of them here....I invite you to go through them and get a glimpse of my innermost feelings....................

Monday, February 18, 2013

I MOVE THROUGH THE BREEZE……

I


Battered, broken,
You had left me for dead.
Dreams shattered,
My soul seemed to have vacated my body.
I wanted to swirl and dance,
blossom like a hibiscus,
spread my fragrance around.
You crushed me like an insect.

Dominated by you, fearful,
I said to myself: “When will the sun rise?
When will this darkness come to an end?”
The scars you had left on my soul,
began to run.
Every pore hurt,
every breath was a task.
Layers of abusive dirt,
covered the soul.

Centuries of oppression,
had left me hapless and weak.

Your mother is also a woman,
yet you have no compunction
in violating me.
Everything I say,
is anathema to you.

I have to look within,
I have to rise,
or I will remain fallen.
I have to dig deep,
and bring out the pearl of my voice,
from the depths of the ocean.

II
I have spring in my step,
I move with confidence and grace.
I now speak my truth,
Without doubt and hesitation.
My life is now mine,
my own creation.
I walk through the breeze,
I run with the wind.
I know how much to give,
and I have learnt to say ‘NO.’

Like Phoenix I have risen from my ashes.
I have soared,
and found my existence.
My life has meaning,
unfettered, unchained,
I  can now live my dreams.

I have overcome adversity and heartache,
and have learnt to express my desires.
Your bitterness could not hold me back,
and strife has made me stronger.

I am the Empowered Woman,
I walk through the world with poise and grace.
You can no longer hurt me,
as I know the truth,
that everything begins and ends with ME. 
(February 18, 12.26 A.M.)

Sunday, February 10, 2013

शर्मसार हूँ.........................................

मेट्रो में तुम्हारी आँखें, 
ऊपर से नीचे देखती हैं मुझे! 
इक अजीब सी कंपकपाहट,
दौड़ जाती है शरीर में!
तुम्हारे पास से जब गुज़रती हूँ,
इक शर्मसार कर देने वाला गाना,
आ जाता है तुम्हारे लबों पर!
अनान्यास,
देखती हूँ जब तुम्हारी ओर,
तुम्हारी आँखों की भूख खा जाती है मुझे!

हाँ, शायद तुम मुझे तो देखते ही नहीं!
तुम्हें बस दिखता है इक शरीर,
जिसे अपनी वासना भरी निगाहों से,
छलनी कर देते हो तुम!

शायद मेरी ही गलती है!
मैं पैदा हुई इक लड़की,
बनी औरत!
तुमने देखा मुझ में,
केवल एक माँस का टुकड़ा!
मैं क्या हूँ,
तुमने कभी सोचा ही नहीं!

तुमने जो चाहा तुम्हें मिला!
सारा आसमान था,
तुम्हारे उड़ने के लिये!
मुझे तुमने दो गज़ ज़मीन भी ना दी,
चलने भर के लिये!
ऊँचे-ऊँचे पर्वत लांघ गए तुम,
मेरे लिए दहलीज़ भर लांघना,
मुश्किल कर दिया तुमने!

अपनी हस्ती का विस्तार किया,
समुद्र की तरह!
मेरे आँचल को,
हवा में लहराने तक ना दिया तुमने!
लार टपकाते हो,
नज़रों से चीरते हो,
शब्दों के बाण चलाते हो!
शरमिन्दा हूँ तुम्हारे समाज में,
जीने का हक ना दिया जहाँ तुमने!!!!!!

(तेरी दुनिया मेरी दुनिया, तेरा समाज मेरा समाज, इतने कैसे अलग हो गए कि मेरा साँस लेना ही दूबर हो गया..........)
((February 6, 2013 at 11.25 P.M.))